Helmets for the Handicapped

Alright, alright, alright. I've calmed down a bit, today is a new day and a new topic of discussion. An interesting thing happened on Sunday, and it continues perfectly our ongoing saga with Roommate. It is also a warning to those possessing Liquid Courage, and an example of what happens when your last words are "Look at me!"

Roommate, Mama, Papa and Husband went snowboarding on Sunday. I was supposed to go but due to circumstances beyond my control, I couldn't. It was Mama and Papa's one-year anniversary so they were going to celebrate that and party it up. When Husband called me at around 10:45 am they had only taken two runs and had been drinking vodka-RedBulls throughout the morning.

As it neared closing time they took their last run of the day. Because Roommate thinks he's a bad-ass, he's trying to impress Mama and he's drunk, he decided it was a good idea to launch off of a jump. Roommate has been snowboarding for about two years. Husband has been skiing and snowboarding for over 15 and he's worked at more than one resort. He's an excellent skier/boarder. He wouldn't even take that jump because of the icy conditions and because he knows his limitations. But, since Roommate is like a professional, basically, he can take jumps like that, easy peasy lemon squeezy. Well, he can take them all he wants but it doesn't mean he can land them. Roommate didn't so much launch off the jump as fall off of it. They got it all on video, so we were able to see it probably a dozen times when they got home. The lip on the top of the jump threw Roommate backwards (well that, and he didn't even hit it right, his stance was all wrong) and caused him to land upside down on his neck and shoulders. His nose and ears started to bleed and Husband radioed Ski Patrol.

I guess an hour later they finally had Roommate down the mountain and in the Ski Patrol office. The doctor checked him out and declared a broken sternum. From what I was told when they got home, Roommate was offered ambulance transport to the hospital but they decided to just go in the next day. So four Vicodins and a belly full of booze later, Roommate and the rest of the crew get to our house, completely interrupting my nice quiet evening, all of them drunk off their asses. Roommate would not lie down, he had to make sure everyone saw his unfortunate accident at least six times, and kept replaying it until someone had to tell him to stop. I'm suffering from terrible cramps, that's why I didn't go, and I now have like 10 people in my house (did I mention some other friends dropped by before the crew got home?) drunk and loud. After we'd seen the video, the shit-talking I discussed yesterday commenced, there was some drama, and I'm sure it had nothing to do with the consumption of alcohol.

Yesterday Mama and Papa drove Roommate to the hospital where he learned that not only does he have a broken sternum, but also a vertebrae that's broken in three places. He's going in for surgery this morning. Details are sketchy, but it's obviously bad.

Now the more astute among you are no doubt asking yourselves, "Doesn't Roommate have big dog? Doesn't he move furniture for a living? With the surgery, he's certain to be out of work for a long while, how will he pay rent? What does he plan on doing when he's released from the hospital? Will he still move out?"

Allow me to ease your minds as I have already given much thought to these questions and I believe I have answers. Roommate will not be staying with us during his recovery. I don't know if he's even thought about the fact that he may never go back to his job moving furniture, but that's really no concern of mine. His mom lives like five minutes away from us and that's where he will return. We will probably need to move his bed and belongings out, which I am happy to do. But he needs to be cared for while he recovers, and as I am not his mommy, I think it's best for him to be with her and allow her to care for him. As for the rest of his life, what can I say? When you act like an asshole and try to do stupid shit, bad things happen. I wish him the best, but Husband and I can't be responsible for him, his dog, or his lack of income, which is imminent.

So please let this be a lesson to you. If drinking, semi-dangerous or somewhat risky activities, and jackasses are involved you should steer clear. Bad things are bound to happen, and you don't want to be around when a stupid drunk snowboarder falls from the sky and lands on top of you.