Saucerful of Secrets

My first real, full-time job was at Starbucks. In fact, our crew opened the first Starbucks in Sacramento, California. I was a senior in high school, which would put the year at '93 and '94. I went to the open interview a day after I had my wisdom teeth removed, and my cheeks were very swollen. Despite my appearance I was hired on the spot by the district manager, Milissa. I drove a tan Jetta, which I loved, though that has nothing to do with anything. I ended up working at Starbucks through the summer until I went to college, and then worked at another store in Portland for a couple of years, and then transferred to another store back in Sacramento after I graduated from college.

Through my experiences at Starbucks I developed a theory that I believe is even more relevant in the year 2007. I believe that Starbucks is a microcosm of everything that is wrong with our society today. Of course, this assumes that I'm right about what's wrong with society, and I am.

I will spare you the details of how this java giant started and how it morphed into the corporate caffeine pusher it is today. If you're interested in that, just follow the link above. What I will point out is that when I quit in 1998 Starbucks was a completely different entity than when I was hired. When I was trained in '93 we were required to pay attention to every detail of the coffee making process. We had to time our shots so that they poured between 18 and 23 seconds. Any shorter or longer and they were thrown out. Coffee was measured precisely so that every pot was consistently delicious. We had only three sizes, three syrups, and only a handful of drinks. This made it possible to take the time necessary to provide patrons with an excellent cup of whatever they were drinking.

Fast forward to 1996 or 1997. New syrups are added. New drinks are created. Venti size is now offered. Eggnog is being used to make lattes for the love of God. It's no longer so important to pour perfect shots or keep the steaming wand clean or brew a new pot of coffee every hour. Now the only goal, our only focus was to keep the drinks coming out fast and keep the customers relatively satisfied in the process, all the while maintaining a "warm and comfortable atmosphere" where our customers will feel like they're in their living rooms and will want to linger and sip coffee all morning.

And this is when my theory began to piece itself together. Society in general has become increasingly disconnected with itself. People no longer greet each other with pleasantries when they pass each other on the street. We prefer to speak into tiny electronic boxes rather than strike up a conversation with a stranger, or talk with the person who's sitting at the same table. We are obsessed with information and we want it immediately. We require an infinite number of options for any given thing, whether it's upgrades for our vehicles or ringtones for our phones. And often we are unsatisfied with the available options and invent new ones so we can get exactly what we want. Because it's unacceptable that we should compromise even a little bit. We deserve exactly what we want, we're entitled to it. And our children are even more entitled to get exactly what they want because it's unacceptable that a child should experience one iota of disappointment. Our children are our future, after all. Do it for the children.

As I continued to make and serve increasingly more complicated drinks, and observe the crazed outbursts of angry customers who had been eternally traumatised by taking a sip from a drink that was somehow not up to their standards, I noticed distinct similarities between the life inside a Starbucks and the real world outside. And I realized that rather than stick with their guns, to not compromise what had skyrocketed Starbucks to the top of the coffee food chain, the corporate monkeys had decided they needed to provide the public with everything they demanded. They decided that in order to stay competitive and viable, they would let the public tell them how to run the show.

People want eggnog? Give it to them! People want blended drinks? Give it to them! People want a thousand syrups to choose from? Give it to them! People want faster service? Give it to them! People want things toasted? Give it to them! People want eggnog before Thanksgiving? Give it to them! People want stores to open earlier? Give it to them! Give the people what they want! By all means necessary!

And this is exactly what's wrong with society. People feel entitled to everything, all the time, exactly the way they want it, and the answer "no" is unacceptable. And corporations have decided that the people are right. Our government, in large part, has decided that the people are right. The same people who are eating themselves to death, allowing their children to turn into pasty, video game addicted lard asses, providing their children with growth hormones, feeding them on crap every day, going to the same job that they hate in a car they can't afford, coming home to the house they can barely pay the mortgage on, using the maxed out credit card to buy KFC for dinner, these same people are the driving force behind corporate decision making and advertising. And these people have decided that speed and choice are more important than quality and relationships.

Gone are the days when you can stand next to the bar and shoot the shit with your barista. Even if you go to the same 'Bux every day, you probably don't know the names of the people who serve you every day. Why would you? You're busy on that important call even while you're ordering your drink. When I first worked at Starbucks we were encouraged to make small talk with the patrons of our store. We were encouraged to tell them our names, to make french presses and pass around coffee samples to people standing in line, or sitting in the store. We were encouraged to mark out pastries as samples throughout the day, as a treat for people. Now, I'm betting, it's all about the bottom line. Things like wasting coffee and pastries is probably frowned upon these days.

So when you look around and wonder why your small, local coffee shop or deli is shutting down, remember the masses, the sheepish masses. Their lust for a Starbucks on every corner is largely to blame. (Hey, supply and demand. Starbucks wouldn't open a store on every corner unless they were making money. If 'Bux builds it, they will come.) Personally I haven't been back to a Starbucks since I quit. I make an effort to patronize my local, non-corporate stores whenever I can.

This has been made much easier by moving up to the mountains. Our town has one fast-food place, Taco Bell. I do not eat Taco Bell. So that's that. We have to go grocery shopping and I cook dinner and make lunches and make breakfast every day. Every store in our town, besides Safeway, is owned by someone we know, or who lives in our town. It's a different life than living in the city.

However, it is impossible to escape the sheep. They're here too. So far as yet though, no Starbucks.