Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Learning to Fly

What follows is, for me, a story of hope, of perseverance and of waiting on God's timing, which is always perfect. As you know life for Husband and I has been less than easy. We have been going through easily the most difficult time in our lives. Much of the difficulty we brought on ourselves through the choices that we made. However, much of it has been due to circumstances beyond our control. I lost my job over a year ago and haven't worked since. Husband lost his job last August and has been struggling to find permanent work. Bills are late, rent is late, my parent's are buying groceries for us. It is humbling.
KB is still living with us, and that has helped. Last July he cut his leg with a chain saw. It was as bad as it sounds. He cut some tendon in his knee, but thankfully not all the way through. Because of the accident he could not work for a while either.
At long last there is light through the darkness. KB is working again.
And for me there is not only light, there is a miracle. My long unemployment forced me to deal with my life. I considered many decisions I had made, I should make and what I am passionate about. I refused to take a job again that was just going to be a job. I wanted to love what I do, to effect people in a positive way. I decided I wanted to teach.
I took the CBEST and passed the first time. I arranged a visit with the principal of an outdoor school within walking distance from my house. This outdoor school is one of only three in California that uses credentialed teachers. I have secured a position as a substitute teacher at this school and began training two weeks ago. I also started school again. I will obtain my full teaching credential in February and I will have my Master's by June. This all happened in a span of two months, if you can believe it. I hardly can. I'm proud of myself for working hard and doing my part, but mostly I'm thankful to God for opening doors that I didn't even know existed.
Husband and I have been living here for almost three years. We were aware of the school, but I didn't really know anything about it. A family friend, who I have known since I was a very young child, told me that I should talk to the principal of the school because it would be perfect for me. She was right. Every week a new group of about 200 kids come to the school on buses. The group consists of mostly sixth graders from several different schools, although sometimes there are fifth and seventh graders. They come from the valley, sometime two hours away, to the mountains. They are taught sixth grade science concepts, but not in the classroom. They are taught in a hands-on approach. The school has a planetarium, an animal room with animals the children can hold, they hike every day. They are taught how to build shelters in the forest, about reptiles and amphibians, about Native American history, they pan for gold at the creek, it's nothing short of amazing. The kids stay all week, in cabins/dorms, away from their parents with kids they don't know. So they learn about socializing, making friends, being respectful. They all have to help in the kitchen at some point. I am beyond thrilled. I hike about a mile and a half through the forest to get to school. And it is perfect for me. I can't believe that not only do I get the opportunity to work at this school, but it's also my first teaching position. I am also humbled by this experience.
So things are looking up. Husband is still out of work. That's not really surprising though. He's a carpenter. The economy sucks. The housing market sucks. But, don't worry about a recession kids. Everything's under control, situation normal. So prayers are appreciated for him. He hates being out of work, most guys do. He feels useless and he's depressed.
I can't wait to begin writing about my school and life experiences. I can't wait to have things to write about again. As much as I love writing, I couldn't torture all of you with my depression, writing about what I watched on tv or how long it took to do laundry. That's just not fun to read.
For all of you who are experiencing difficulties, HANG IN THERE! Don't succumb to the darkness. Maintain some hope, no matter how small.